All the memories of my mother that I have are those of pure hatred for me. As it has been made clear to one and one, I have always been looked down upon as the child who has destroyed my mother’s life completely. Her hatred for me increased tenfold the day my grandmother died exactly after two years of my birth. Because of her mother’s death, she was now alone. Her feelings were clearly expressed in everything she said to me as well as in the looks that she gave.
Her hatred has always been evident in every single action that was taken by my mother. For instance, I have always been compared with other people and have always been looked down upon. Her actions are usually very selfish and she makes sure that she underestimated me in every regard especially when it comes to a comparison between me and my younger brother. She has always spent far more time with him and I have never once been complimented in the twenty-two years of my life. I have always had issues with confidence and self-esteem. This is so because of the hatred and disrespect that I have earned from my mother. I have always worked extremely hard to get appreciated but nothing worked. When I was twelve, my grades lowered, I gained weight and was a social outcast. Acting like she wishes to help me, my mother got rid of me by sending me toSwitzerland. This was not easy as I was very young, and I had to struggle to mingle with people of a completely different cast, belief and culture. This has turned out to be helpful in the long run as it has proved that I can manage life on my own and also be accepted for being what and who I am. This was an experience that taught me self-sufficiency and independence. I have lived inLebanonfor sometime before college but this was also a helpful experience as I learnt how not to let my mothers feelings effect me.
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